Sunday, June 1, 2014

What to wear?

     Just returned from a weekend of dress shopping. My family and I are headed (road trip style) from here, Florida, all the way to Detroit. My husband's nephew is getting married, but since I also have tons of my dad's artwork in storage up there, we are road tripping since we will have to rent a trailer on the way back to carry back all the goods.

     So, about this has been over 20 years since I attended a wedding up north. Yes, many here in Florida, but a whole 20+ years for a northern wedding. The last time I attended a wedding up north, I remember having to wear pantyhose with my dress. Well, I don't want to ever wear pantyhose again! I live in Florida for crissakes. So I purposely purchased an ankle length dress so I could avoid the hosiery debacle. I later found out that no one up north wears pantyhose anymore! No one sent me the memo! The funny thing is that the dress I purchased needs to be hemmed up anyways. Why is that funny? Its funny because I have never had to have ANYTHING ever hemmed shorter in length! I am just shy of 6 feet tall, I have always had to have everything lengthened! This dress is crazy long! So I have to have this thing shortened, and I am thinking now that I am free of the hosiery torture, I may have this dress shortened party length! Free at last, free at last!!!

This is the top of this dress, yea safe black, but trust me, a whole lot of boob cleavage is showing on this puppy. So I am going to spice it up with some kick as vintage jewelry....on the hunt this week!

Wait until you see how long this dress is:

Again, I am freakishly tall and this dress is a good 10 inches past my ankle! Who the hell is this dress made for? (husbands closet in the back with dirty closes thrown on the floor. His closet still looks better than mine!) 

     We were shopping, at a mall, sorry to say. Being my height, big boobs etc, its not like I can just pick some cute number of the thrift store rack! But I got this from JC Penney and I figure, that IF I had to shop at a department store, it was the best one that I wanted to support. This dress was $100. Even though it was more than I wanted to pay for something that I would wear one time, it still was a fair price compared to other dresses I saw. However, apparently it was on sale, unbeknownst to me, and it rang up for $39.99! AND here is the bonus part: The cool young man who rung me up, told me to download a coupon on my phone for an additional 15% off! So, I only paid $34 for this dress! Seriously thrilled.

     I was shopping with my son, because I also had to buy him some clothes for the wedding. My daughter has about 10 dresses to choose from in her closet, but my son lives in tee shirts and khaki shorts. He was lecturing me the whole time about how I better save my receipt because I should buy something at the thrift store instead, and I shouldn't support all of these big box stores, because it goes against everything we believe in....secondhand is better for the environment, and spending this money on a new dress is wasteful...etc etc...Yep, my 10 year old was schooling me. And he was right. But then again, he just thinks that I can easily find something at a thrift store to fit my frame...but he really liked the dress I purchased and we agreed that JC Penney was an good place to support.

   Now I would like to leave you with a plethora of vintage wares to enjoy!

By the way, I have noticed that any ad with men in pants...well, their legs are apparently made of wood. No knees. They have stiff straight legs in every pant ad, even the kids....

Back with pointy boobs were all the rage!

I need those. Sometimes my husband snores. Seriously, I would totally wear those!

I think my mom had one of these. This doesn't work, but the 64 page exercise book and the 68- page diet book included does work. The suit is just for humiliation.

Really? REALLY? At least there is a warning about the white one and swimming.....

If the silver sauna suit doesn't work out for you, there is always "Air Jeans"

"Your legal high" is apparently wearing seashells on your ears. I think I will just stick to illegal highs.

Bob Ross in his modeling days. Its a war! The Whitey tighties versus The Bob Ross Bandits!

Id wear these jeans. The one on the girl with the yellow shirt, those appear to be the most flattering. Yea, I'd wear those!

It IS always fun to dress alike! That's why I purchased my husband the same black dress that I'm wearing to the wedding. He ain't falling for it though. I showed him this ad to try to convince him that is was okay, but he is holding firm, so I think I may have to return that second dress:-(

How come I never find cool shit like this at thrift stores?

And I definitely never find stuff like this at thrift stores! Seriously, its a practical idea, how come they don't make them anymore! I'd wrangle up seagulls at the beach, and force these contraptions on them!

Well that is all for now, I hope you enjoyed these vintage ads as much as I do! I am seriously addicted to them! Next vintage ad gallery, I will be featuring food! Yes, food! I think they are the best!

Last week of school for my kids this week and it is crazy hectic as always! I will be at school for some reason or another every day! Saturday, someone better have the margaritas ready and chilled!!

What's new in your world?




  1. Dress looks nice-- great price too, even if you do have to shorten it. Maybe you could pass it off as a train?? Ha, ha... Fun ads! Parakeet diaper? They've got to be kidding.

    1. Yea, I don't know if they are kidding about the parakeet diapers or not...but it makes sense to me, hahah!

  2. I like the dress too. I've always had pretty good thrift store luck, but then I don't have supermodel height like yourself. =) Hope the wedding & trip are fun. Next week I'm flying by myself with my kids and trying to decide if I should drug the one year old or not!

    1. I think you should drug yourself haha!. I flew with a one year old and a 4 year old, solo before. Its not easy! Best of luck, and have fun!

  3. The sauna suits, holy hell, the things we make to lose weight. My mom bought a lot of those 1980s little work-out gadgets that just end up in the back of the closet. I used to play with them a child :D The dress is super pretty. I'm 5'3" and don't have trouble length-wise but feel your pain at the boobs. Makes it tricky to find something just right for sure. Especially cute swimsuits..

  4. Oh what and NO to bird diapers!

    1. My mom bought all those weight loss contraptions too! haha. Maybe they make some kind of contraption to shrink down boobs.haha. I'd buy it!