Sunday, May 18, 2014

So wrong. Why am I laughing?

I am completely obsessed with vintage ads. Either I am in shock, or I am laughing. Usually both. They are so wrong. So very, very wrong.

Do what baby says and no one gets hurt.

I look ugly when I cough? You should see how awesome I look when I barf.

Oh, look, they even get to pick out their favorite brands. Ain't that the cutest thing ever!?

For some reason, I find this ad misleading.....

I can't believe this mom is letting her child have a glass bottle! You are supposed to pour your baby's soda in a plastic bottle with a nipple, so it doesn't spill all over their crib when you give them their night time soda serving.

Injun Orange was also delicious. Racially delicious. Wonder why they stopped making them? Too much sugar, I suppose.

Boy, I'll bet these "scientists" feel silly now!

I know I am just being picky, but I think they could have done a better job on her eyes. They don't look very natural.

Hmmph! I never get invited to all the good parties!

Don't you ever forget my fucking Corn Flakes again. Next time you die.

Oh please, you know no woman can open it!

How soon is too soon? I'd say somewhere between Cigarettes and Seagrams 7. But I am one of those conservative moms.


Geez, next thing you know, he'll be in a PSA as a crying Indian because of pollution. You just mark my words!

Malt liquor is practically a dairy product, right?

Other cultures and religions can enjoy this bread!
What kind of monster lets their baby suck on a metal spoon, without having consideration for the other 2 babies who want to also have a nice shiny spoon to suck on while they are wrapped in cellophane. Always bring enough for everyone!
And all this time, I have been leaving a pack of Marlboros out next to his cookies. Sorry, Santa, I didn't know you were a Lucky Strike kinda guy.

I so do love vintage ads! I can only imagine what our current ads will look like 50 years from now!

I hope these ads get you through your Monday!   


  1. I adore vintage ads! That baby different times. The old racist ones (Chinese Cherry!) are cringe-worthy but funny in a damn-we-were-assholes-not-too-long ago way.

    1. so very very wrong! But fucking hilarious! Shame on me.....

  2. Srsly, tho... Moms do need Malt Liquor lolzzzzz

    1. With a touch of percoset...Its all good!