Sunday, August 11, 2013

Planet Mushroom

True story here, etched in my brain forever. When I was about five years old, living in Detroit, I had a best friend named Patrick. We would like to play with our hot wheels cars on a tree trunk by my driveway. The tree trunk was always covered in nasty mushrooms, you know, the poisonous kind. So, my mom would always tell us not to eat them. Well, Patrick and I were getting kind of curious WHAT WOULD happen if we actually DID eat we devised a plan, that the next time my mom came out with the mushroom warning, we would both lie and tell her that we ate some so we could finally see what would happen.
So, mom came out, asked if we ate any mushrooms and I said, "yes" and then my mom asked Patrick and he said, "no". (So, at 5 years old, I learned the lesson to never take any thing a man says at face value). Well, mom rushed me into the bathroom, made me drink Syrup of Ipecac (medicine to make someone barf, they do not make this anymore, this generation should be very grateful). So I spent the next 12 hours in the bathroom barfing, while my older demon brother let all the kids in the neighborhood come in the bathroom and watch me. (This was before Cirque du Soleil was around, so we had to take what we could for entertainment). And in the back of the crowd, I could see my little pal, and I thought future husband, Patrick. Quiet. Ashamed. Thankful he said, "no".......
So 19 years later I marry Greg. Greg told me on our first date that he hates mushrooms.
That is the mushroom story. The mushrooms are continuing to curse me. They seduce me with their 70's retroness, they tease me, they call for me, begging for forgiveness of past wrongs.....
The Wonderful Flight of the Mushroom Planet. This book is hot. I have had the luck of finding this book  three different times, and three times this book sells immediately! So, the next book I find, I have promised myself that I will be reading it. I need to know just what makes this book my best seller. Does this magical place has rivers full of Ipecac?
Mushroom canisters, all sizes and styles. Available to store dog biscuits, cookies, coffee, family jewels or secret stash of money to hide from your spouse...You name it, I have a mushroom canister for you!
Check it out here
And if you ever find a mushroom hanging around your yard, and it looks yummy and you are too lazy to hit the grocery store, and maybe you are trying to go organic and maybe its time to make dinner......You just may consider plunking that mushroom out of the earth and taking it into your kitchen to add to the marinara....Who knows, it could be safe? I mean, edible mushrooms DO have to grow somewhere. Some of the ones growing around your house, just may be safe. How can you know the difference between the mushrooms that will kill you, the ones that will give you a nice buzz, or the ones you can sauté with garlic and put in your sub with a bit of mozzarella?
You can educate yourself by having a nice handy mushroom reference guide. No kitchen is compete without this!
Details here
Oh, and to Patrick: We SO would have been married if it wasn't for that early betrayal!


  1. As a kid I did actually eat one and my mom made me drink raw eggs and then the Ipecac so I'd vomit it up. I don't know if it's connected, but in jr high I suddenly started to have a reaction to mushrooms in food. To this day my throat swells when I accidentally eat any.

  2. Wow. Arent you glad they no longer make that Ipecac stuff? I think there are a lot of people from our generation that have horror stories about that poison! We both survived to tell our tales!

  3. About 8 years ago, I had a pizza (from Dominos) with mushrooms, and got violently ill with vomitting and diarrhea for 4 days! I thought I would die! I haven't had a mushroom or Dominos since!

  4. I am starting to think that the mushrooms are out to get us and will rule the world with cockroaches in the year 2300.

  5. This is a bullshit shroom eating story-- a sort Clinton-esque 'I didn't inhale' type situation!!!! I demand a do-over where you ACTUALLY eat the shrooms lolzzzzz.... I want to see that blog post.

  6. Haha, Im not saying I didn't eat shrooms. I just didn't eat those shrooms at that time...